Let’s be clear. This is not a “New Year; New Me” blog, but instead a “I Give Myself Permission To…in 2023” blog.

If you are still reading, kudos to you and congrats on the journey to more. 

Like any good co-journeyers we should first become familiar with each other. 

*Imagine the moment of you seeing your favorite cousin (me) after years have past and y’all are greeting each other*

“Whaattttt uppppppppp!! You good?”

Now that you have experienced that familiar feeling, that warm and contagious energy that has captured your attention, visualize us catching up at a black-owned coffee shop or us indulging in the happy hour special with a skyline city view. No judgment here – your journey, your choice.

As you sip on your beverage of choice, you are likely pondering two questions:

1. What am I giving myself permission to do? or

2. Why do I need to give myself permission? 

If you are anything like me, you’ve probably never given thought to your need to ‘give yourself permission’. In 2022, my therapeutic journey taught me the phrase and challenged me to put into practice ‘give yourself permission to…’. (s/o to my therapist) 

Trust me, it hasn’t been easy. But, what I know to be true for myself and perhaps even true for you is that over our lifetime, it is likely that we are existing today feeling as if something is missing. What if I told you that someone or something or perhaps yourself has hidden your permission — in a lockbox? We have been searching for this lockbox for months and years because there has been a void and a longing for more. 

I dare you by the end of this blog or for sure in 2023, to locate the key to your lockbox, unlock missed opportunities, breathe and embrace confident and unapologetic you.

*orders second round of coffee and cocktails*

In 2023, you and I cannot afford to play small. It’s time to take the training wheels off our faith!

What would it look like if you…gave yourself permission to write the blog? Gave yourself permission to interrogate your thoughts and feelings? Gave yourself permission to ask for what you deserve and are worth? Gave yourself permission to receive love? Gave yourself permission to…(insert your biggest fear) 

Yes, 2023 can be a fresh start to a new year. I can wage a bet, that who you are and what you desire for yourself, is not too far. Maybe you think it is because you are trapped in comparison and fearful of unlocking your true power.

This new journey of ‘permission’ has positioned me to be more self aware, to confront myself and to practice what I preach. This is the year of yes and more. Yes to my wildest dreams. Yes to trusting myself more. Yes to doing big shit that will cultivate my current and future legacy. Continuing with transparency, this is going to stretch ya boy.

Over the course of life, I have learned the unhealthy habit of shrinking myself to ensure others feel comfortable. Comfort and confidence can coexist. I grant myself permission to pursue my passion and personal growth without shrinking. 

Someone else’s insecurities about themselves is NOT permission for me to shrink. 

In 2023, I am anticipating…

• More therapy sessions - fear of rejection gotta go

• More impactful moments - with Black and Brown young men, s/o to Crowned Scholars 

• More opportunities - that will stretch me to release my excuse of, “I am a behind the scene person”

• More dating -  to be open to love and to learning about myself

• More accountability - so that my yes stays firm and my boundaries stay secure 

You probably noticed I used “more”. I believe what we need is already on the inside of us, we just have to trust ourselves and activate our support system on this journey of unlocking. 

What is your more?  *orders last round of drinks…on me*

Remember, you and I are cousins now, so I feel I can offer you some parting advice as you lean into giving yourself permission and unlocking your best year yet:

1. Make yourself a priority - the time has come to an end where we ask everyone else what they want and not share what we want and desire.

2. Visualize what you want - then ask yourself the tough questions like what is holding you back from achieving it. 

3. Ask in full confidence -  we have to practice our faith. We can not play it safe by asking for what we know God to be capable of providing. 

4. Seek accountability - it is our fuel. We need to know when we are excelling or if we’ve become sidetracked. Be open to both. 

Maybe…in writing this to inspire and encourage you, I end up needing this for myself. Thanks fam! 

Let’s toast to that,

Rickey Townsend Jr.