I saw a tweet on September 2nd that said, “I’ll cancel anything for my mental health.” 

I liked it almost instinctively, but the real question was, did I mean it? 

Would I really cancel ANYTHING for my mental health? My family, friendships, dating relationship, church membership, my job? Would I really cancel my job for my mental health? 

It’s a question that I was recently forced to answer. And after much discomfort, confusion, stress, and a near mental breakdown, the answer became conspicuously clear.

Like nearly every person on the planet, I watched in horror on January 6th as insurrectionists overtook our nation’s Capitol - scaling the walls, breaking and entering, threatening the safety of Members of Congress and congressional staff. 

But unlike everyone else, I watched while sheltering in place on Capitol Hill. I would never imagine that my third Congress as a congressional staffer would begin with what became the scariest day of my life. I sat in fear watching the news with captions on, phone on silent as my friends and family attempted to check on me, windows covered, doors locked, mask on, at the front desk of my office, frantically checking my email for updates. 

After being restricted for several hours, we were finally allowed to leave our offices for food. A complimentary chicken strip dinner somehow meant to comfort the day’s terror. I walked the halls of Rayburn & Longworth paranoid, looking at everyone’s badges closely to be sure they belonged. We stayed until about 5 am to complete the electoral count, and as everyone rushed to the sweet solace of their homes, my horror story continued. 

My boss dropped me off at my hotel and Trump supporters with MAGA & Blue Lives Matter regalia stood outside smoking cigarettes. In the lobby were maskless guests who proudly dawned similar paraphernalia. I tucked my congressional ID for fear that I may be approached. Dirty looks and scolds burned a whole in my face as tears filled my eyes.

Hours later, reports abounded of Trump supporters leaving DC, causing a raucous and harassing passengers on flights. I changed my flight home to avoid a similar fate. I just needed to make it home without any additional nightmare. I needed to feel safe again. 

It didn’t occur to me that the trauma would only linger. Weeks later I had a panic attack in a Ross clothing store because the lights went out & I felt trapped. Months later I cried at a gas station because I saw a rebel flag. Traveling back to DC for work - one thing I loved most about my job - became triggering. Doing the work I love made my chest heavy because of the physical environment.

For months, I battled thoughts of whether I should just push through and not allow these treasonous actors to drive me out of doing the job that I loved and did well OR if I should just call it quits for the sake of my sanity. Ultimately, after much mental anguish, I chose the latter. 

I decided that my mental health was much more important than proving a point, even to myself. That my mental health trumped professional aspiration. That my mental health had to be my priority, even if it was no one else’s.

You may be thinking this doesn’t translate for you because you’ve never had your safety threatened at your place of employment; because you weren’t there on January 6th and your experience doesn’t compare. However, it does. 

If there is anything threatening your mental health at work, it is your responsibility to either seek rectification or to remove yourself from the situation to preserve your sanity. The average person spends nearly 100,000 hours of their life at work. That’s ⅓ of the average lifespan. Are you willing to spend ⅓ of your life in an environment that poses a threat to your mental health? 

Don’t allow fear or a desire to appear strong to keep you in a situation that is robbing you of your peace. I loved my job, but I just couldn’t shake the trauma of January 6th, and I needed to find an opportunity to do what I love in an environment that wasn’t a constant reminder of that day. So I did.

I encourage whoever may be reading this and feeling that their mental health is being compromised at their job to truly assess whether this is a situation that can be fixed or whether you should be looking for employment elsewhere. Don’t allow those thoughts of being perceived as weak or a quitter or being too sensitive to imprison you. Have that long overdue conversation first with yourself and your mental health provider (talking to my counselor ultimately led me to making the best decision for me), and if necessary, call a meeting with your supervisor or someone in authority who may be able to help improve your work environment in a way that improves your mental health. 

Your mental health is your priority, and you owe it to yourself to cancel anything for it.