Holidays should be a time of love, gratefulness, celebration, and holiday cookies. It should be a feeling of warmth, joy and belonging. Instead, for some it's a reminder how hard life can be. This time of the year can evoke feelings of loneliness, isolation, and stress. Here is my truth. Christmas last year for me was terrible, to be frank. On Christmas day, I literally had an emotional breakdown in my parents room and didn’t want to be bothered by any of my family. It was a different experience for me, because I love Christmas and spending time with my family. Unfortunately, it was a downside to depression that I had to learn to navigate. 

You might be remembering a loved one, dealing with an underlying health condition, or other stress related issues. Regardless, If you feel guilty about having these thoughts and feelings during this blissful time, know that you have every right to feel this way.

Here are some helpful tips that I picked up along the way and hopefully helps guide you through this holiday season: 

Acknowledge your feelings and let them flow 

Emotions are complex. Our experiences in life influence what we feel and how we feel. Yet, learning to acknowledge and stay with our emotions is a valuable experience. Don’t fall into the trap of self-conceit and assume that perfection is the only path to quality life. Life happens. Our emotions are like water, meaning they are meant to flow. This is when we get access to new parts of ourselves. There are moments when you will feel sad, angry, or even uninspired, especially during this season. But you should give yourself grace and allow yourself to have the full human experience by letting your feelings be real. Why? Because they have purpose. Those same tears can water your soul into new growth. So feel whatever you feel without making it wrong. This is a part of emotional health and emotional acceptance. 

Gentle Reminder: Your emotions are not who you are.  Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it is the truth. It just means you have an altering experience with your comfortable emotions. And that’s totally okay. Just allow it to flow freely. 

Make time for yourself 

You have to take care of yourself. And that will require you diligently making time for solitude and repair. So go ahead—give yourself a break. We live in an externalized culture. We are required to do and be for everyone and everything. Take some time to go inward. Find moments, with no obligations, to practice stillness. Breathe. Embrace. 

Find a private moment or two. Make a date with yourself. Find things that make you feel alive. For me, I take an hour of my day, turn off my phone, listen to music and journal. Or I will go on the trail near my apartment and take a walk. 

Don’t become so busy during this season to a point that you miss those moments of creativity, reflection, and refreshment. Spend intimate time with yourself. When you implement self care, you hear more keenly. You see more clearly.  Devote time to the life of your spirit. 

Surround yourself with love 

Choose to spend time with those who nurture your soul. It is one of the nicest gifts you can give to yourself. Love from my friends and family keeps me grounded and whole. Take time for yourself, but don’t isolate yourself. Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and have a meaningful connection with someone you trust and love. Remember there are people on a soul level who have agreed to offer support throughout your journey. There are those who will bring you compassion, encouragement, love, faith, and laughter.  Shout out to my friends! Shout out to my amazing family! 

Pace yourself. Manage your expectations.

It is easy to fall into the thinking that you have to do it all. I get it. There is Christmas shopping, getting the food together, or making time to spend with all of your family and friends. All of these are important, but it can equally be overwhelming. So you have to pace yourself and responsibilities. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize important activities. You can’t do everything and you can’t be everything to everyone. Manage your expectations and be realistic. It is okay to take care of yourself first. It is okay to say no to a few things. It is okay to protect your energy and your mental health. 

Enjoy the present. Live in the now.

One day at a time - that is enough. Give yourself permission to enjoy the present moment. Living in the moment means no longer worrying about the past and not fearing what will happen in the future. Learn to appreciate the beauties of life  – the sights, the sounds, the sun, the triumphs, the love, and yes even the sorrow. Here's the life hack that I learned along the path to healing. Say “thank you.” Focus on the things that make you happy and that gives you joy. Learn to embrace these things and say thank you. Be grateful for even the hardships you have had to endure. You made it through. You overcame them, because you are so strong. When you seize these aspects, you will find the value in life. So here is what to do today. Dream big. Set goals. Work on goals. Connect with your mind. Let go of the past. Trust in the future. 

We owe it to ourselves to make every moment count.